Dear Abusive Old Lady, If I were to make a list of places I do not like to go on a Saturday it would be: List of Places I Do Not Like To Go On A Saturday 1. Target 2. Michael’s 3. Lowes There are various reasons for this. Target, of course, is mobbed by [...]
Archive for March, 2007
An Open Letter To The Abusive Old Lady Who Pushed Me Into A Display At Lowes And Then Chewed Me Out
Published March 31st, 2007 in Daily. 1 CommentThe button has just popped on my philosophy professor’s shirt. She has not noticed yet that her boobs are gaping out. She has, however, noticed how attentive the class is today.
A drawback of the internet finally being fixed in this apartment is that the little lady is now able to access the Netflix Queue and mess it up completely. Her: How about if I remove Shakira: Live and off the Record? Me: (outraged silence)
Our ISP is NTC. They are awful. Me: Like I told you yesterday, I’ve been having the same problem since Sunday. Intermittent service outages and extremely slow internet access. If I use my wireless router, it takes 2 minutes to load CNN.com. I can’t access the NTC website to login if I plug my computer [...]
Probably not, but it was pretty excellent. Guns, lesbians, and a Pinkwater plot. What’s not to like?
It still looks awful, but I will count on everyone being too drunk to notice. Or hopefully, too concerned with deep thoughts to care. I can, however, only find one of my shoes.
Tonight is the vet school semi- formal dance. Sound frightening? It does to me too. I do hate ironing. I’ve put my suit in the dryer in the hopes that this will take most of the wrinkles out. I guess it’s probably more likely that it will be just as wrinkled but in a new [...]
The Year Without Toilet Paper And Also, Mysteriously, No Bidet
Published March 22nd, 2007 in Daily. 0 CommentsI feel like I have to preface this post with something like, I think it’s great that people try to live green. But, frankly, I don’t. Actually, I think a 43 year old man + 2 year old child + sudden shift to home foods lifestyle in Manhattan = Midlife Crisis, not Environmental Avenger. I [...]
The new Harry Potter will be 800 pages long. On recycled paper. Jesus. And now for some anguished questions: DOES HARRY DIE? DOES HERMIONE DIE? WILL ANYBODY GET LAID? WHO KNOWS??
Weather: vacillates between 80 degree sunny heat and blizzard conditions. Things that dry too fast, leading to huge size and frizz: my hair. Things that do not dry at all, for days and days: paintings, and paintbrushes. Aaargh.
It’s Spring Break. This means our normal routine of laying lazily around the house purchasing research papers off the internet has been disrupted. Over the past few days, we have driven a wild zigzag course from Blacksburg, VA, to Duck, North Carolina, and then to DC and then to Manhattan. In our heartest of hearts, [...]
Today I dropped off some work at Roanoke College for the Juried Show and it was the first time I realized how much I’ve changed in my approach to art since starting grad school. This wasn’t an epiphany. It didn’t all come together for me in a huge flash of understanding. As I was driving [...]
Today I need to stretch canvas. I hate stretching canvas. And I have to have piles of blank canvas sitting around or I get a creative block and can’t paint anything. O Hateful Friday!
Look, everyone. The Gap has informed us that it is the Year of The T. Thank God. I was wondering what I would wear this summer.
Her: It was as though Ana Maria Matute* made a movie. Me: Oh, I enjoyed the part where he sewed up his own face. This won an Oscar. Category: Best Artistic Gorefest. Or so I suspect. I hated the color in this movie. It was just too much like the graphic design on the covers [...]
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