A few years ago I did some work for a company which sold things like gift baskets with certificates to spas inside them. One time they produced copy for one of the ads which said something like “For when you want an evening pamper!” I thought at the time that pamper wasn’t really a noun, it was more of a verb. The copy sounded horrible, but I was never sure exactly why until now.

It is because a Pamper is a kind of diaper, for christ’s sake.