Me: How big and what color is the rug, and how much are you asking for it?

Craigslist reply: Um not good at dimensions. The rug is in excellent condition (about $50 in Walmart). Um getting lots of inquiries about the rug. Highest bidder is now at $25. Will sell to highest bidder by Friday.

Hmm. I’ve been looking for something cheap and not too offensive to basically use as a dropcloth that I won’t trip over constantly. I’m having a hard time seeing myself involved in a bidding war over this thing, especially since the picture he sent still doesn’t begin to say how big it is:

But you have to admire the constant use of “um” in his reply.

My neighbor’s apartment smells awful- unwashed male apartment, body odor funk. I went inside the place one time and it was among the worst smells I have ever experienced. It’s far beyond the ordinary locker room odors. It’s more like a sun-ripened hobo in the summer.

And now the smell has become so extreme that it’s spreading beyond his apartment. You are hit with the unspeakable stench when you walk past his door or his window. And I fear that the smell is now oozing through the walls into my apartment, though it could just be my overactive imagination.

And if it is really happening, what next? I’m trying to think how to approach this in a tactful way and I can’t think of one.

“Hey… I’ve noticed that your apartment’s funk has crept into mine. How about washing your sheets?” Obviously not. Maybe I’ll slip a Febreze odor killer under the air intake of his window heating unit?